gifts versus flaws

I was in a cafeteria line with my Dad at the hospital yesterday. I mentioned that since Marvin (my car) will be coming to school next year I really could use a GPS. It has been a constant struggle of mine to convince myself of which way is the right way while on the road. I called my terrible sense of direction a flaw.

But I caught myself.

I then called it a gift to him. When I am in my car I am in one of my few safe havens. I love getting in my Marvin and just driving. I do my best thinking in the car, on the highway, with my favorite music blasting, windows down of course (no air conditioning). I immediately dive into my conscious and frolic around in whatever fields of thought come my way. This is where I choreograph a lot of my pieces for dance. Driving on the road has always been a relief unless the gas light is on.

I call my lack of directions a gift because well I actually don't care if I miss the turn. I have been absorbing my thoughts inside and out so yeah I tend to miss turns. What makes me laugh slash damn myself is my ability to convince myself that my logic is right when I make decisions on where to go. I can convince myself that the next exit is totally the way... I usually make the wrong choice. Taking my second guess actually fails me too.

Anyway I'd rather savor my time in the car then always be moving forward in the "right" direction. My Dad was definitely enlightened by my explanation. He then make it clear that I wanted something to enable my "laziness".

Sorry I'm Not Sorry.